5 Reasons To Tell The Truth

All good reasons. Although there are times when the full truth can be omitted or smudged in the name of politeness. Ie. ..yes those pants make your ass look fat Vs. ..those pants accentuate your voluptuous curves. Lol!


Listen up…

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Why no one should use the n*word

Have you noticed that no one uses the swastika anymore? And if they do they’re extremists and neo nazis.
Did you know that before the swastika was used by nazis it was just another old pagan symbol? Well it was. Then some very evil people turned it and we all associate it with evil events. The worst occurrence of genocide I can think of by a group of people set to destroy the amazing diversity in the world.

The n word makes me cringe. When I hear it in rap, which I don’t listen t, I feel sick and afraid. I thankfully rarely hear it spoken in my community but when I do its young people who don’t have any perspective. And it makes me sick and angry.

Well I’m here to tell you. You need to stop using that word. Period.

The whole taking it back idea has not worked. Racist people use it against you still and it has not enriched your life in anyway I can see.

Here’s the thing. I’m a little crazy. I hear dead people. Specific dead people. My great grandmother Matilda and her ancestors are an active part of my world. And when they hear that word thru me they cringe too. They tell me about the sick people who used that word against them and how it made them feel.
I’m sorry for all the black people decendent from slaves who can’t hear their ancestors but I assure you they want you to pull up your pants and stop using that word. You can’t take it back. And you shouldn’t want to. Its a cruel and hateful word that only has one use. To degrade people of colour in America.  You. Don’t.  Want. It.

Did you ever hear a white person use that word and say it’s ok because rappers use it?

You’re making it worse. You’re making it confusing. I assure you that sick feeling you get when you, as a black person, hear that word will not go away when you refer to your black friends by it.

What ever reasons you think justify it just remember…No jew on the planet is taking back the swastika.

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Sick and tired

I have bedbugs. They’re annoying little blood sucking blood shitting fucker and im sick of having to check my bed for them all the fucking time.
But I would rather stew in a bed full of bugs that hear of another black death. I’d rather feed a colony of bedbugs than know that another cop got away with killing a black kid for the crime of being terrified and running away.
I live in a shitty apartment building because I beleive that housing should be affordable. But I would gladly give my home up and live in the streets if you told me that sacrifice would end racism. Or even homelessness I hate that shit too.
I’m sick and tired of all the hate and the prejudice and I’ll admit…I still harbour prejudice myself. But I know I’m working on it. Are you?

I won’t date a bald white man because it would remind me of neo nazis.
I’ll probably never go to Texas or anywhere in the southern united states because I know them to be highly racist states. Those are my prejudices and I’m willing to admit I could he wrong.

I still have a thing for blonds…and sometimes when I see one that I think is cute and I wonder if I should talk to him I stop myself and say probably not…he could racist. I stop myself from perusing what I want because of fear…

We all need to be willing to look inside ourselves first and see our own deficits. Where we have room for improvement and learning. The alternative isn’t working. Change starts inside you. Be the fucking change.

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Race…its everyone’s problem

I used to think it wasn’t my problem. Racial tensions in America.  Because I’m Canadian. Because I’m neither black nor white. Then I realized I’m one of the few people who has perspectives from all sides. I’m mixed race. My dad is decedent from slaves and Chinese immigrants.  My mother from French, Polish and Scottish immigrants. I know their stories and I carry their bloodlines.
I’m here to tell you it’s your problem too. If you don’t know what to say in the face of racism I am here to tell you that with out a doubt saying nothing is by far worse than potentially saying the wrong thing. If you say something you open yourself to a dialogue where you just may learn something. You may *gasp* become enlightened to the plight of your neighbor who is different from you. And that my dear would make you a better person I guarantee it.
If you continue to say nothing you mark yourselves among those who claim it is not their problem. Who claim they don’t need to prove they’re not racist. Well I’m telling you now. Yes you do. You need to prove you stand with us. You need too prove you accept us. Not just the blacks freed from slavery but the men women and children coming to north America fleeing social injustice. Fleeing places that would see them murdered for their religion or kidnapped for their gender or their innocence.  You’ve got to stand and defend this so called land of the free home of the true north strong.
If you don’t you will be counted among the ones who hide it the dark plotting against your immigrant neighbor or your black aquaintance that you’re friendly with but don’t know how to relate to because you know you’re different and that’s all you see. I assure you. There is some kind of similarity somewhere you just need to find it.

So stand up. Its not just black and white. Its not white and Chinese or red and yellow. Its not just white and Arab.  Its all colours. Its all cultures. Its acceptance for everyone. 

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I’m Not Racist Because….

Generally I cringe when people preface a statement with this caveat. Because usually what they’re about to say has nothing to do with how they’re not racist and usually points out a prejudice.

For instance:

Because you dated a black guy once, or twice or exclusively. This does not prove you like all black people, it proves that you liked a few black guys. It maybe proves that you have a type, it may even imply that you assume there are certain similarities between black men that are guaranteed and that  is why you date black guys which most certainly does not make you not racist. If anything, dating only one colour of person exclusively because you’re into that type only proves a certain kind of prejudice. An assumption or an expectation. Which simply isn’t fair, and it isn’t acceptance.   The truth is, we all have preferences…I’m into blonds and red heads. Sparks fly and juices flow, I get the whole having a type thing. There is a line between attraction and acceptance. I’m talking about acceptance and giving it freely to everyone.

You think you’re not racist because you patronize a Chinese florist, have nice chats and get along. If you think you’re not racist because you smile at the Filipino mail man and think he’s cute.  (you smile at him because he’s cute and happens to be Filipino). If you think you’re not racist because you get along with your Indian co-worker and you think he’s OK (you get along with him because you share a kind of sense of humour and enjoy each others company). If you think you’re not racist because you’re English boss and you can relate to the awesome-ness of good English beer(some English people prefer cider dammit). You need to check your prejudice meter. If you think you can pat yourself on the back for ‘not being racist’ for any of these reasons then you’re still assuming that all people of a certain race or from a certain country, are the same. They’re not. Every ethnicity, every country, every religion is capable of creating a person who’s different. Who’s an anomaly even within their culture. And within any given culture there are always variations. If you’re still assuming that one reflects them all they you’re making a mistake.

Sociopathy happens in every culture. So does homosexuality and acromegaly and empathic and highly intuitive people and all kinds of crazy things that make us all so different but all still humans. So when you look at someone and see nothing but another person of that particular colour be it pink, yellow,white,orange or green, and draw conclusions about that person as an individual you’re doing them a disservice. Yes there is a prevalence of Catholics in a many countries, that doesn’t mean every one you meet from that place practices their faith this way. It doesn’t mean that every Chinese person you meet has participated in a ‘dog festival’. It doesn’t mean that every African man you meet is a rapist. It doesn’t  mean that if you date an Indian boy he’s going to expect you to abort your baby if its a girl. It doesn’t mean that every time you walk into a room full of white people that you should assume that being the only person of colour makes you the odd one out. Why not wait and see. Why not assume that when a person is rude to you, that its because that person is an ass hole. How you deal with prejudice in your face is one thing, but assuming that it’s there before it rears it’s head doesn’t do you any good either.

I know a lot of places the hate is hard to avoid seeing. I know a lot of places are impossible to escape and reality is you shouldn’t have to flee your home because of hate. But I know change is possible and it starts with you.

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Please share. And share hard. For the love of all.

I haven’t been posting lately. I’ve been stressed and trying to focus on self healing and exploration. That’s not all tho. The truth is I’ve been fighting really hard against some pretty dark demons. I haven’t been able to put into words what I wanted to say about it. Over the last few months. I’ve lost track of how many people have been murdered, their lives deemed forfeit by the colour of their skin. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve been saddened by losses that were preventable and caused by ignorance and hate. Generally I don’t like to talk about problems without bringing some kind of positivity to the discussion.  I like to be able to say…here is what I think the solution is.
I used to think it was as simple as just not teaching hate but it must go beyond that. Much further than that.  Each of us has a voice and we all must use it. Silence is tantamount to acceptance. We must all speak up.
The first conversation you must have is with your self.
Ask yourself “am I judging? …am I prejudice?”  Before you can stop being a part of the problem you must understand the true nature of it. Enlighten yourself. Realize the undercurrents of assumptions and stereotypes you’re placing on the people around you. This goes for people of all makes and models and origins.
Once you’ve done this you can begin holding yourself accountable.
When you do that you can begin to see these things in how others are treated around you. You must hold your self and others accountable for the acceptance of everyone. EVERYONE. If you see something wrong. Say something.  Don’t tolerate bigotry in yourself or others. Don’t tolerate prejudice in yourself or others. Do not tolerate hate for anyone in yourself or others.

The people that hate based on fear and ignorance are weak. But all of us are capable of being strong enough to truly accept the diversity of this world. Our brothers and sisters from different mothers and misters enrich us.
We will need each other in the end.
Be a part of the solution. Enlighten yourself. Raise your voice against hate. If you love people for who they are at the center of their being not the colour of their skin then stand up and say it.
Do not sit idly by.  One day…it could be you.
If you know you’re not racist. If you’re proud of diversity. If you love from a place of acceptance not mere tolerance then share. And share hard. If not this post then another. A meme. A photo. A story. Something so that your friends and your neighbors understand that with you. ..they are safe.
If you’re quiet….I’ll know who I can trust.

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the semicolon project

the semicolon project.

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In a Forest…Dark and Deep


Naked Goddess Productions: In a forest, Dark and Deep.

Their website just says this about it…
“Intimate. Intense. Intriguing. Secrets and layers unravel in this modern day Hansel and Gretel  ”

It didn’t take much for me to make a decision, naked goddess? Sure thing. In a forest…can’t go wrong there. I found out last minute it was supposed to be a Hansel and Gretel modern spin. Realized far too late that the term lost in the woods would be used metaphorically alone. I did not know anything about this play before seeing it. Two characters for 99 minutes. That’s a marathon for an actor. All the dialogue coming from just two mouths. It takes a lot to keep an audience entertained for that long. And I was thoroughly entertained the entire time. Thinking that perhaps another character would walk thru the door. Realizing no…it wasn’t needful. Intense frustration, lust, self loathing. All between a brother and sister?

I absolutely love having my own insecurities shown to me on the stage. The sexual tension was scintillating. I would say more…but I don’t want to give anything away. The actors may not have had history but the chemistry was palpable, I didn’t know where to look, did they know they were begin watched? The fifth wall? I was so uncomfortable sitting in the front row! The Havana theatre is a perfect venue for this show, you can’t escape the feelings of these characters. Oh and all the secrets unravel just perfectly. Hints given away at just the right moments. Excellent writing and performing!

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Do You Like To Read?…

I’m gonna need this list for later.

James Radcliffe

I do too.

Because of the volume of reading I do (around 3-4 books a week) I find a lot of cool stuff.  And when I find something incredible, it is difficult, (actually nigh on impossible) for me not to share it.

To that end I’ve written this post, which is a list of the absolute best of the books I’ve read in the past month or so.

I want to stress that these are not average books.  These are not good books.  These are the books that I recommend to my friends.

The face-meltingly amazing ones.


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Time and money and love and loneliness and getting everything you want…

Time is money right?

Ever think about how if you obsess about time…you waste it worrying about things that aren’t happening right then when you could be enjoying an otherwise peaceful walk. If you’re running late every moment passes like eons and you’re sure you’re going to be late and the worry makes every moment painful and take even longer eons. But in reality you always get there when you get there. You can choose to panic and obsess about the passage of time or you can quietly enjoy it passing otherwise unobstructed by pressures or concerns and just enjoy the few minutes to yourself/your own thoughts and generally a great pportunity to accept that life is actually pretty good. Instead of enjoying that moment you make it painful by drawing time slower and slower. Your goal further and further away.

You ever notice that the more you obsess about money…the more you need? The more complicated things get, but in the end…you always have enough for everything you really  need. Food, shelter, dignity…the more coins you want, the more oily and slippery they become. Gliding through your hands. It seems no matter what you can never get ahead? You pay off one bill something new comes up…especially happens when you spend a lot of time stressing about whether or not it will happen. By doing so…ensuring that you have that extra bill or sudden expense. But if you just chill out and relax about money and know that no matter what you’re going to make ends meet because you always do.

 When I first stopped stressing about time, I enjoyed much more of it. Moments of bliss stretching on forever. Knowing the eternal truth that I am going towards where I’m supposed to be going, that I’m on the right path, that all the things in my life will happen exactly when they’re supposed to happen and good things always happen. More good things seemed to happen… when I expected them to. When I dismissed a thing that I could take as a negative as silly little blips on an other wise clear and perfectly calm projection, only good things really do happen.  Soon after making this shift in my attitude, I was making better choices, more and more often. Soon I was sleeping better, feeling more rested and wanting to do more of the things I know I enjoy but when I was too stressed I just couldn’t get the time for. When really I just needed to make the time?

  When I made these realizations so many wonderful changes happened. But, there was still the matter of money. I still found myself day dreaming about…what if I was a millionaire. Crossing the line between fantasy and obsession. Fantasy about living in a highrise with an amazing skyline view and attempting to will the money required to obtain that goal into my life; how much money, when should you have it by, how can I get someone to just give it to me, what if I won the lottery or someone died and I got a big inheritance. Those kinds of thoughts. Money money money by any means is a death trap you’re digging your way to all kinds of negative black holes. Like with time, you obsess about it with selfish malicious intent… bad things happen. Chill out about it…good things happen.

 So why was I so unable to let go of the idea of wealth? Monetary wealth?

I remembered the saying, time is money. And thought about it. Why am I so not obsessed with time any more but still with money? When I think about things now they’re great. And if I died tomorrow it’d be OK. No regrets. But when I think about growing old and possibly not having enough wealth…I get scared. I see how elders are treated here and now. What if when I make it to that age…there is no one there to take care of me? If I don’t have money, I cant even pay someone to take care of me.

 The truth is, I always assumed that things would get better in the future. When I have more money. So I can handle right now, even though I’m alone (unmarried and childless the only two things missing in my life) being alone now is fine. There is plenty of time for those things. And even if I don’t get to have those experiences I’ll still have been open for it and had an otherwise good life.  But the truth is, that beneath all that, I really and truly am terrified of ending up alone. I have not yet accepted it as a possible out come I can live with. Being able to unlock myself in order to see that wall. Had I not seen it I would have just stalled at it instead of willing it out of my way. I am that powerful. I can move on. So close to the obstacle it makes it difficult to under stand the true nature of it. Things go out of focus too close to your view.  Now that I can see how time was simply hiding in money… I can flush that demon out. I can walk right thru that wall. Leave it behind me and continue on my path. I do always get what I want ( I didn’t used to, but I’m changing that now) so that means that I will most certainly connect with my soul mate, the man I’m meant to procreate with. I will have the children I know are waiting on the other side for me to be ready. I will grow old with my partner in life and we will be happy together ( I’m working on changing my attitude about that because of the whole ‘I’ll always be alone’ belief)  when you realize that some of the deep truths that you believe are holding you back and realize you can remove them, you are guaranteed to get everything you want. The deeper I look into myself, the more bad energy I can release. The more truths I can discover the fewer obstacles I can have.

 I can only work on so many things at a time. As I can only take one step at a time. But now I have the tools to do them all. If not the arms. As I unlock my deeper selves. More of my arms become free, unshackled. With each new pair of arms, the more powerful I become. Nothing can remain in my way. When all of my deeper selves are balanced and free and able to mingle with my more superficial selves and I am a whole and healthy person. This Is the ultimate goal. But I’m making leaps and bounds in advancements and I’m not worried about how long it takes because I know it will happen exactly when it needs to and all the things in my life will happen exactly when they’re supposed to. All in good time.

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