But this is why I have a blog so that when shit happens that hurts or angers me I can vent it.
I dont really want to talk about what suicide is or isn’t but the truth is I have an opinion. …
The problem with making comments about another person’s journey especially when it pertains to mental health is that: Its.Not.Yours.
It’s not like cancer where the cancer cells attack your body and you do chemo or get surgery or your hair falls out or it doesn’t. Its not like cancer because you can hide it and convince millions of people it doesn’t exist. The most important one being yourself.
It’s absolutely different for every individual and AND it’s every god forsaken day.
There is no remission with mental health. I refuse to say mental illness or mental disease because Health is what I’m focusing on.
Every single day you wake up and get out of bed and just try to be alive for whatever reasons you see fit is a win.
Every .Single. Day.
You can never walk in another person’s shoes but you can sure as shit try and walk beside them.
I suffered for years with my symptoms convinced that no one would care, that no one wanted to hear about it and that there was absolutely nothing that could be done.
I’m still here and sometimes I wonder how.
Mostly I try not to think about it.
Mostly I try to think about right now and what’s worth living for today.
But I tell you it’s hard.
It’s really hard especially when people you love falter and can’t keep up. When you’re fighting this battle and you finally admit that you’re not alone and you see a kindred spirit who is suffering like you do it can sometimes make it a little bit easier. But when they fall. When they succumb to the disease. It makes it a little but harder. I know why I’m still here. I’m on a mission and I’m going to see it through. I’ll try to remember that.
These clichéd images of beauty from a place I love that I’ve only been to once is part of how I keep going.