I’ve come to the conclusion that people who say mean things ‘sarcastically’ then say ‘just kidding’ mean what they are saying at least a little bit. Sometimes it’s a veil. Most of the time is a pretty thin veil, when someone makes a deprecating comment at another person in a tone that is meant to be sarcastic on the assumption you will take it this way.
When confronted many will claim you should know they are kidding but in a fight they will reinforce these sentiments with a vengeance that brings home the truth.
The real opinion always comes out under pressure. He really does think you’re stupid, or beneath him. He wants you to feel that way anyway so he will always have the upper hand.
Its not always men. Women do it do. Often it is women who’ve had it done to them. It’s a learned response and a defense mechanism. Keeps the person under their thumb reminded of their place. No contest. No contrition.
But I know now when a person sees the light in me and tries to bring me down. Even though I’m still vulnerable I can see you prying at the weak spots when you do. You can try. I’m a fortress now. You only get in if I let you. And I can kick you out anytime.
I assume now, that people who use sarcasm don’t have the confidence to say things honestly. Its a sign of weakness to me. It’s not a sense of humour.