Generally I cringe when people preface a statement with this caveat. Because usually what they’re about to say has nothing to do with how they’re not racist and usually points out a prejudice.
Because you dated a black guy once, or twice or exclusively. This does not prove you like all black people, it proves that you liked a few black guys. It maybe proves that you have a type, it may even imply that you assume there are certain similarities between black men that are guaranteed and that is why you date black guys which most certainly does not make you not racist. If anything, dating only one colour of person exclusively because you’re into that type only proves a certain kind of prejudice. An assumption or an expectation. Which simply isn’t fair, and it isn’t acceptance. The truth is, we all have preferences…I’m into blonds and red heads. Sparks fly and juices flow, I get the whole having a type thing. There is a line between attraction and acceptance. I’m talking about acceptance and giving it freely to everyone.
You think you’re not racist because you patronize a Chinese florist, have nice chats and get along. If you think you’re not racist because you smile at the Filipino mail man and think he’s cute. (you smile at him because he’s cute and happens to be Filipino). If you think you’re not racist because you get along with your Indian co-worker and you think he’s OK (you get along with him because you share a kind of sense of humour and enjoy each others company). If you think you’re not racist because you’re English boss and you can relate to the awesome-ness of good English beer(some English people prefer cider dammit). You need to check your prejudice meter. If you think you can pat yourself on the back for ‘not being racist’ for any of these reasons then you’re still assuming that all people of a certain race or from a certain country, are the same. They’re not. Every ethnicity, every country, every religion is capable of creating a person who’s different. Who’s an anomaly even within their culture. And within any given culture there are always variations. If you’re still assuming that one reflects them all they you’re making a mistake.
Sociopathy happens in every culture. So does homosexuality and acromegaly and empathic and highly intuitive people and all kinds of crazy things that make us all so different but all still humans. So when you look at someone and see nothing but another person of that particular colour be it pink, yellow,white,orange or green, and draw conclusions about that person as an individual you’re doing them a disservice. Yes there is a prevalence of Catholics in a many countries, that doesn’t mean every one you meet from that place practices their faith this way. It doesn’t mean that every Chinese person you meet has participated in a ‘dog festival’. It doesn’t mean that every African man you meet is a rapist. It doesn’t mean that if you date an Indian boy he’s going to expect you to abort your baby if its a girl. It doesn’t mean that every time you walk into a room full of white people that you should assume that being the only person of colour makes you the odd one out. Why not wait and see. Why not assume that when a person is rude to you, that its because that person is an ass hole. How you deal with prejudice in your face is one thing, but assuming that it’s there before it rears it’s head doesn’t do you any good either.
I know a lot of places the hate is hard to avoid seeing. I know a lot of places are impossible to escape and reality is you shouldn’t have to flee your home because of hate. But I know change is possible and it starts with you.